


Don't Hurt Me Again

by Empress_of_Yaoi



Category: Naruto
Genre: ALL THE FIRSTS, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26890846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Yaoi/pseuds/Empress_of_Yaoi
Summary: An awkward conversation on a grassy hill is the start of what may very well be the best thing that has ever happened to either of them. But can these two guys learn how to love without hurting each other?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Shiranui Genma
Kudos: 26





	1. First Conversation

_**~First conversation~** _

"Yo, Genma."

"Morning, Kakashi, I thought you were still in the Sand village?"

"Neh… I got bored," The silver-haired shinobi moved to lay beside the other on the grassy hill, "So, anything interesting happen while I was drying up in the desert?"

Genma moved the senbon around in his mouth, "Define interesting…"

The copy nin didn't reply for several minutes and when he finally did, he'd changed the subject completely, "Funny seeing you here though, thought you were working today. Did the Hokage give you the day off?"

"Something like that…"  
Again, the other fell silent. Insecurity practically radiating from the younger man's body.  
Genma simply waited. He knew the other would say it – _eventually_ …

"So, eh… Where's Raidou?"

"Working…" _  
Wait for it…  
_

"Right… And you have the day off?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"I suppose…"

The long silences were becoming awkward, but Genma made no effort to break them; only replying when the other asked it of him.

"So… How've you been, Genma?"

"Fine, I guess…"

"Did… Did something happen?"  
  
Genma dragged it out, moving his senbon around once more, "Stuff happens every day. It's called life."

"Yeah… Eh, right…" Kakashi shifted a little.   
  
_Now we're getting there…  
_

"So nothing… _Peculiar_?"

"Like what exactly, Kakashi?"   
_Come on, say it… I know you're_ _ **dying**_ _to…_

"I… I don't know… Just curious, I guess…"

"Hmm…? If you say so," Genma had to suppress a smile; At this rate, it was going to take all day.   
He spat his senbon straight up in the air, catching in again between his teeth.  
 _Yeah… I think I'm going to hurry this along a little…  
_ "Anything in particular you wanted, Kakashi?"

"No… Not really…"

Genma almost snorted.  
 _Yeah… Right!  
_

"Say… Genma?"

"Yeah?"

"Did- never mind…"

"Did what?"

"Never mind, it's not important…"

Swishing the senbon to the other side of his mouth, Genma kept quiet. _  
Not important? My ass! You chicken...  
_

"So… Nothing happened at all?" Kakashi sounded disappointed.

"What's it to you?"

"I- I don't know… I guess I thought…"

"You thought…?"

"I was hoping you might have something to tell me," The silver-haired man muttered.

"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that last bit."

"I said… I was hoping something'd happened."

"Anything in particular? Dancing frogs, flying ramen bowls? We had those when Jiraiya came by…"

"No… Nothing like that…"

"Then what were you hoping for?"

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably, "I dunno…"

"So you were waiting for something to happen, but you don't know what that something is?"

"No… I know… It's just…"

"Just what?" The senbon flew up again, twirling a pirouette before getting caught between white teeth.

"Genma…" It stayed quiet again after that, the birds in the nearby trees the only ones to break the silence that steadily grew thicker.

"Kakashi…"

"Yes?!" The younger man snapped to attention.

"Nothing, I just thought we were calling out each other's names," A chuckle escaped the long haired brunette. _  
_

Out of the blue, the other appeared above him, on top of him.  
"You're toying with me," Accusation in his voice.

"Now why would you say _that_?"

"Because you are."

"Kakashi, what on earth makes you think I would be toying with you?"  
 _ **Now**_ _we're getting somewhere…  
_

"Because… Because… You _know_ why!"

"I absolutely haven't the faintest clue, Kakashi. Why don't you explain it to me?"

The other looked away, taken aback, "I- I can't.."

"Why not?"

"Because…" One single grey iris fixed on his face, before fluttering away again, "It's embarrassing."

"More so than you suddenly straddling me?" He couldn't keep the chuckle out of his voice, didn't exactly try hard either.

"I- I'm sorry," He tried to move away, but Genma grabbed his legs in a firm grasp.

"You're not going anywhere. Not until you explain yourself to me," He could see the blush creep up on Kakashi's face, could feel him tremble.

"Genma, please…" A mere whisper.

"Please what, Kakashi?"

"Let go, please just let go of me," He whined.

"I told you, I'll let go once you explain yourself. Just what _is_ it exactly you've been waiting for?"

"Please… I beg you, let me go," Was that a tear filling up that big, grey eye?

Genma sighed, realizing he wasn't being fair to the younger man. _  
_"Kakashi, look at me," No response, "I'm serious, _look_ at me, goddammit!"  
A sideways glace. It would have to do.   
"You're talking about the flowers, right? The chocolates. The notes hidden away where only _I_ would find them. That's what you mean, isn't it, Kakashi?"

He tried to push himself off, but Genma increased his hold on the younger man, " _Isn't_ it, Kakashi?"

"Yes…" A whimper, a breath, less even.

Genma's heart ached, "Why didn't you come to me directly?"

"Couldn't…" Still barely audible, still looking away.

_This isn't so fun, anymore… Genma, you_ _ **basterd**_ _!  
_ "You could have," He kept his tone warm, soft.

"No, couldn't…"

Genma sighed, spitting the senbon out to his right, "Kakashi, come here…"  
The younger man shuddered, dared not to look at him.  
  
He repeated his request, receiving only a skeptical look in return.  
 _Dammit! Why did I have to go and tease him like that? Now he's too scared to even_ _ **look**_ _at me properly…  
_ "Kakashi, will you please just _look_ at me?"

"Let me go, Genma…"

"And have you disappear on me? No, I think I'll keep you here a little longer _. Look_ at me."  
The only response was another struggle to break free, but Genma refused to let go.  
  
"Kakashi! Stop it! Damnit, would you just hold still, at least?"  
It seemed to work, the fight left the younger man. But as a hot tear fell onto Genma's cheek, he knew he'd only made things worse. _Again…_  
"Kakashi, please," He was pleading now, "Don't look away from me…"I've been an ass today, and yes, I _was_ toying with you, but… I never meant to hurt you…"

"Too late…"

"I know that, and I'm sorry. I'm really, terribly sorry. I… I don't even know _what_ I was thinking… I should've realized sooner… Kakashi, please, will you just look at me?"

"No," His voice cracked, choking on his tears, "I want you to let go of me."  
"I know that, and I'd grant your request if I even had the faintest hope I'd ever see you again. But if I let go now, you're not coming back to me, are you?"

"No."

"Then I can't let go."   
_I_ _ **have**_ _to fix this!_  
Without thinking, Genma pushed off. Rolling over to the left – as his senbon was still to the right of him – until he was laying atop the younger man.

"Genma, please… Don't…"

"Don't what?" He breathed.

"Let me _go_ ," Kakashi's head was turned away _.  
_

_Still not looking at me…  
_ "Don't let you go? I don't want to. I don't _ever_ want to let you go. I should've said that the moment I saw you. And I don't know why I didn't, because I truly never meant for any of this to happen. Kakashi… Please, look at me… I'm trying to make things right here when I don't even know if you're ever going to give me another chance…"

"You don't deserve one…"

"No," The brunette sighed, "No, I don't, you're right. But-"

"I'll give it to you, anyway."

_Wait, what?_

Kakashi was still laying there, limp. Staring at the senbon in the grass. The tiny, usually visible part of his face shielded by the hitai'ate as his own, grey eye was hidden away in the grass.

"You _will_?" Genma swallowed hard, tears blurring his vision, but he could still see it… Kakashi finally _looked_ at him.

"Don't hurt me again."


	2. First Date

_**~First date~** _

Genma swallowed, eyeing the wide variety of flowers at the Yamanaka Flower Shop. A girl came up to him, blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail, "Is there something you were looking for?"

Nervously, he cleared his throat, looking into her bright blue eyes, "No, I, eh... Never mind."  
Turning on his heels, he left.  
 _Flowers aren't gonna cut it... What I need is something special, something that's just right. Not too girly, but at the same time soft and sweet... Sweet, chocolates? Oh wait, he doesn't like sweets...  
_

Walking through bustling city streets he pondered his options, then found he had none.  
 _What on earth do you give a guy like Kakashi Hatake? What on earth would he even want?  
I have to show him how sorry I am for the way I acted yesterday, I have to show up tonight with the perfect gift...  
_

He sighed.  
 _There is no such thing as the perfect gift, now is there? He's given me a second chance and I'm already fucking up again...  
Damn!  
_

A lump settled in his throat. His shoulders slumping down just a _little_ more.

XXIIIXX

Eventually he'd settled on flowers after all. The girl in the flower shop had given him a few odd looks as he picked the flowers by hand, frowning as she suddenly realized what he was trying to say. But she hadn't said a word about it, and now Genma was standing in front of Kakashi's apartment building holding a bouquet consisting of White Camellia, Red Carnation, Jonquil, Geranium, Purple Hyacinth and Red Tulip, tied together with a white bow. He'd decided to dress in civilian clothes and had spent the better part of the morning figuring out what to wear, while the afternoon had been spent looking for the perfect gift. Genma felt like a teenage girl trying to appease her first crush, but at the same time, all of that didn't matter. All that mattered was Kakashi.

Gingerly, he started up the stairs, his hand freezing just before he could knock on the door. Was this alright? Were the flowers good enough? Not too corny? Should he have dressed in his uniform after all? Was he late? Early?

Out of the blue, the door opened, revealing Kakashi Hatake, dressed in civilian clothes. His hitai'ate replaced by a black silk eye patch, his face-mask now replaced with a matching black fabric, his expression unreadable.

Genma tried a smile, "Hey…"

Kakashi blinked, cocking his head slightly he replied, "Yo, Genma."

Genma's smile widened a little and he extended his arm just barely, "Here, eh… These are for you…"

"Ah… Thanks…" He accepted the flowers and Genma's belly gave a little flip. Not just because the gift was seemingly accepted, but more so because in doing so, Kakashi's hand had just barely brushed past his own. He could feel goose bumps break out over his entire body, using every ounce of a lifetime's worth of relentless training just to suppress the shiver running down his spine.

As Kakashi let his eye wander over the flowers, Genma's gaze hesitantly roamed the copy nin's body. Tight, black jeans under a crimson shirt, a black leather vest tied at the side with deep red leather laces. Genma swallowed; the man looked a little too good for his own personal comfort.

The silver-haired man let his fingers softly brush past the flowers, his voice quiet as he listed their meanings, "White Camellia; You are adorable," He pulled a little face, chuckling, "Red Carnation; My heart aches for you," He cocked his head to the other side, "Jonquil; Returned affection," He let his gaze wander over Gemna's frame for a second, "Geranium; Stupidity," He nodded softly, "Purple Hyacinth; I'm sorry," Another small nod, "Red Tulip; Believe Me," He chuckled before looking Genma straight in the eyes, his tone even softer than before, "I do."

Genma swallowed, his voice nowhere to be found so he just nodded. He felt Kakashi's gaze linger on him a little while longer before the man suddenly turned away, motioning for him to follow. So he crossed the threshold, toeing off his shoes dark-blue shoes to set them next to Kakashi's black pair, his uniform sandals sitting on the other side. He felt very self-conscious as he followed Kakashi inside his apartment, his simple white jeans and dark-blue dress shirt suddenly making him feel hopelessly under-dressed.

The copy nin's apartment proved surprisingly spacious, tastefully decorated with polished hardwood floors and simple but captivating artwork on the walls. Mostly landscapes, but walking down the main hall Genma also saw a few traditionally styled animals and flower arrangements on the canvas. Kakashi led him silently to what proved to be the kitchen; lavender tiles on the wall, the floors seemed marble, but closer examination proved that it was merely ceramic after all. The cabinets and counter-tops were made out of the same dark polished wood. Kakashi made straight for the sink, grabbing a knife from the drawer to cut the stems of the flowers. Unsure what to do or say, Genma hovered just inside the door.

"You're starting to stress me out, calm down."

Startled, Genma almost yelped. Clearing his throat before he spoke, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean –"

"There seem to be a lot of things that you don't mean, Genma," The silver-haired man interrupted him, "Just take a deep breath, will you? And relax a little, what do you think I'm going to do to you anyway?"

He sighed, taking a few steps toward the man still diligently working over the sink, his voice a mere whisper as he spoke, "Leave me."

Kakashi turned around, then. His gaze questioning as he regarded Genma seriously, "Come here," He lay the knife in the sink, the flowers on the edge of the counter so their stems hung over the sink as well. His hands rested on the edge of the counter behind him, his body slumped ever so slightly.

Genma swallowed again, but granted the man's request. Stopping at about two paces away.   
Kakashi frowned lightly, extending one hand he grabbed Genma's, gently tugging. So he allowed the younger man to pull him towards him until their bodies were all but touching.

"Genma…" He swallowed, his voice thick with emotion, "Don't think that, please."

He closed his eyes briefly, "After what I did to you, how could I not?"

"You're here, aren't you?" Kakashi cocked his head, "Only three people have ever seen the inside of this apartment. And that's counting myself."

Genma could feel his eyes open wide, jaw dropping slightly. Kakashi chuckled, "And Gai wasn't exactly invited in, so…" He smiled, that eye-crinkling smile that Genma could never get used to – it always made him go weak in the knees.

"Kakashi…" Feeling more than a little overwhelmed, he couldn't go on.

The younger man chuckled again, his voice almost teasing as he said, "Genma…"

Biting his lip, Genma looked him in the eye, "Yes?"

Another chuckle, "Nothing, I just thought we were calling out each other's names."

Smirking at the little jab, Genma brought up his other hand to cup the copy nin's face, his thumb softly stroking just above the mask. He had no idea how long they stood there, his thumb touching soft skin and fabric alike, his knees trembling ever so slightly. But eventually Kakashi pulled away from his touch, pushing him back just a little so he could continue his work on the flower stems. It made Genma feel insecure again, had he gone too far? But just as he felt like he couldn't take the nerves anymore, Kakashi chuckled again.

"Take a deep breath, Genma. Relax."

He swallowed, taking a small step back, his voice all but trembling, "Easy for you to say…"

"Maybe, but since I'm the one who made the first move, I guess it's your time to get nervous now. Wouldn't you agree?" There was a hint of humor in the man's voice, and Genma chuckled despite himself.

"Okay, you're right. You _did_ make the first move and I took advantage of that."

"Advantage how?" Still not looking back, he reached up, opening one of the upper cabinets.

Genma swallowed, his tone coming out coarse, "Yesterday."

"I see your point…" He grabbed a pale blue vase, closing the cabinet door before turning on the cold water, "Still, calm down."

A quiet, nervous laugh escaped Genma, "I'm not sure if I can, Kakashi…"

Sighing, the silver-haired man gently placed the flowers in the vase before tying the white ribbon around it, he set the vase aside before turning to face Genma once more. Kakashi quickly closed the small distance between them, placing one hand on Genma's face like the older man had done to him. His thumb softly tracing little circles on Genma's cheek, "Then just remember this: I wouldn't have invited you in if I didn't want to. I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of hiding flowers, chocolates and notes if I didn't want to. I wouldn't have sought you out yesterday, wouldn't have stuck around if I truly didn't want to."

Genma bit his lip, "I pinned you _down,_ Kakashi…"

Chuckling, the copy nin relinquished his hold on Genma's face, causing the older man to suppress a disappointed sigh, "If you really think you can hold me in place so easily you're in for a few nasty surprises, Genma. There is no way to detain me if I don't want you to. Not without resorting to… _Other_ tactics. So relax a little," He stepped back again, pushing his hands in his pockets.

Genma swallowed, the already tight jeans got stretched by the copy nin's hands and he found he had to literary _tear_ his gaze away. Looking out the window, he tried to gather himself. Kakashi chuckled again, taking a step closer. Genma could feel the body heat radiating from the other man's body, tensing up ever so slightly.

"Genma…" There was a teasing smile in his voice, "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

He took a deep breath, as the younger man had been telling him to do for a while now, "Maybe a little…"

"Aha…" Fingers brushed past his arm, a hand softly placed upon his shoulder, "Genma, look at me."

He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before granting the man's request.

Kakashi let out a small sigh, "I'm not sure what you had planned for tonight,, but – "

"Dinner. Maybe a walk if you want. I didn't want to push you…"

Kakashi chuckled again, "A little pushing's fine, Genma. But I was thinking… If you don't mind, that is…"

_Does he want me to leave? Is he fed up with my nerves? Is it the mask? Was dinner a bad idea after all?  
_ "Mind what?"

Kakashi's voice was soft, his head cocked ever so slightly, "Stay here. Have dinner here. We can see how it goes from there."

Genma nodded, his voice had left him once again. Kakashi pressed up to him, his covered lips all but touching the older man's ear as he whispered, "Thank you."


	3. First Kiss

_**~First kiss~** _

The flowers had been an unexpected touch and it made his throat close up just a little when he realized what they symbolized. Genma's obvious nervousness felt a little soothing to him; at least he wasn't the only one. But as the man hovered just inside the door to his kitchen, shifting uncomfortably, it became all but unbearable. So he'd done his best to put the him at ease. Hindered by the fact that he was far from relaxed himself. Still, Genma's discomfort was strangely comforting to him, not to mention amusing. Here he was, standing in his own kitchen, where no-one but him had ever set foot inside and his company was not only hot as hell, he was so nervous teeth were all but clattering. Wanting to keep the man here a little longer, he had inquired as to his plans for the evening. Almost chuckling at how _classic_ it sounded. But that too, was comforting. Acting on nothing but instinct – the need to be close, the desire to feel him – he'd pressed his own body against Genma's. Not even sure if his whispered thanks was for Genma agreeing to stay, or the feel of his body pressed up against his own.

But now he moved back again, feeling like he should. If he stayed in position, pressing himself up against the older man, Genma would surely feel even more uncomfortable, his tight white jeans already revealing his current situation. Kakashi chuckled slightly, knowing his own jeans were revealing a similar sight, had been for a while. It made him feel self-conscious, so he turned away. His eye caught on the vase standing on his counter. He smiled fondly, picking it up and walking over to the dining room. He didn't use this room very often, usually eating either in the kitchen or on the couch, but he'd decided they would eat here tonight. So he placed the vase in the middle of the cherry wood table, his hand absentmindedly easing out the crinkles in the white tablecloth.

Behind him, Genma chuckled lightly. It startled the copy nin but he did his best not to show it, like he'd been hiding his nerves since before he'd even opened the front door.  
Hearing the soft footsteps on the creaking stairs and then _not_ hearing the knock on the door he'd expected had all but driven him insane. Opening the door to see Genma standing there, one hand raised as if he was about to knock had been confusing. Had he been standing there that whole time? Was this the first time he'd lifted his hand to knock? The second? The third? Was he about to walk away again? Did he even want to be here? Had Kakashi asked for too much when he'd suggested the older man pick him up at his apartment?

Silently taking a deep breath, he turned around to face Genma. The older man was leaning against the door frame, the senbon in his mouth twitching a little as he chuckled again. Feeling like the brunette was either teasing him or making fun of him, Kakashi frowned lightly, feeling his insecurity soar. Suddenly, the chuckles stopped and Genma pushed off the wall, sauntering over. He removed the senbon from between his lips, twirling it around the fingers of his right hand as he moved to stand just before Kakashi, their bodies as close as they could be without actually touching. His face closer than it had ever been before.

Genma whispered, "Calm down, Kakashi, take a deep breath."

He swallowed, unable to move, his own tone a hoarse whisper as he tried to joke, "And take away what little air you left between the two of us?"

He listened to his own voice in horror; That hadn't sounded like a joke at all! Would Genma be offended? Would he walk away now? Would he feel like Kakashi was pushing him too much? His throat closed and he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore as Genma chuckled again.

"That wouldn't be a bad plan…"

He'd sounded almost thoughtful, and Kakashi nearly started to calm down a little. Almost shrieking like a little girl as the older man suddenly surprised him, catching him off guard as he softly brushed his lips past Kakashi's covered ones. He gasped, shivering as Genma immediately increased the pressure on their lips a little. He could feel the table press against his legs as he leaned back slightly, unsure how his legs were even still supporting his weight. Genma immediately closed the small distance he'd created, pressing himself up against Kakashi like the copy nin had done back in the kitchen. He swallowed. Placing his hands against Genma's chest, he pushed the older man back a little, studying the face before him for signs on how to react. Genma's smile was soft, his eyes warm.

"A little pushing's fine, right?" He asked softly, Kakashi nodded mutely.

Feeling a sudden surge of confidence, he lifted one hand, gently covering Genma's eyes before using his other hand to pull down the mask. He swallowed again, never before had he taken off the mask without first making absolutely sure that there was either no-one around, or that all eyes were covered in a manner that would not allow them to sneak a peek – no matter what might happen. Swallowing once more, he leaned in, gingerly touching his bare lips to Genma's. The other man didn't resist the hand covering his eyes, his lips returning the soft kiss in the same fashion. But as he felt Genma's tongue run across the seam between his lips, the silver-haired man suddenly felt insecure again and pulled back. Quickly covering his face once more before Genma could shake off his hand. But as he looked up, he realized the older man hadn't moved. No, that wasn't true. His hands were now patiently folded behind his back, a small gesture, but it showed that he would not initiate any contact at this point. Kakashi couldn't hold back a small relieved sigh.

Genma chuckled lightly, cocking his head ever so slightly, "I'd never figured you to be so shy about a simple kiss, Kakashi."

He frowned, but then realized that Genma couldn't help it. Reputations aside – this had been his very first kiss. Without the mask, that was. He gingerly brought his fingers up to his lips, it had felt so different. Strange. But not bad. Not bad at all.  
His hand was still covering Genma's eyes, the man waiting patiently for him to lift it.  
He could… Could he? It seemed like a good opportunity… But then again… He sighed, removing his hand from Genma's face. He was too scared after all…

"Kakashi?" Genma's tone was soft, somewhat hesitant.

He swallowed, looking away, "Let me go, Genma…"

He almost winced at the words he'd unconsciously repeated from yesterday and the look they evoked on the older man's face. But he moved back without a word. Kakashi brushed past him before Genma had even taken two steps back, biting his lip as he realized he'd all but pushed the man off of his feet. Trembling, he turned into the kitchen once more, walking over to the counter he'd been calmly leaning against only minutes ago. He clutched it now, using the polished wood to help him stand as his knees were all but buckling under his own weight.

"Kakashi, are you alright?" There was worry in the man's voice and he made sure his nod came quickly, easily discernible from across the kitchen. But Genma walked over after all, his hands softly touching Kakashi's shoulders, gently turning him around, "Did I push too much?"

He shook his head almost violently, wondering where his voice had gone off to all of the sudden.

"Kakashi, please tell me what's wrong?"

He watched the older man swallow, his face relaying his worry, his anxiety. But still his voice eluded him. Not wanting to show his weakness, he pushed Genma away a little, turning to the fridge, intending to get started on the dinner he'd promised the man. But his knees chose this exact moment to finally give way and strong arms wrapped around his waist, holding him up.

"Kakashi… _Please._ "

He swallowed, his voice finally returning, "Nothing's wrong, Genma," He said softly, "I just… You startled me a little…"

"I'm sorry…"

"It's fine. Just… Let go of me, now…" He grabbed the counter again, biting his lip as he waited for Genma to grant his whispered request.

But Genma didn't, instead gently pulling him along, pushing him down on one of the kitchen chairs. Genma kneeled before him, hands in his own lap as he seemed to study Kakashi's face. 

His breathing erratic, he tried to calm his pounding heart, but couldn't. Kakashi swallowed, "Genma… Why?"

A light chuckle, humorless, "You were about to fall to your knees, Kakashi. Why would I just stand back and let that happen?"

_Because I asked you to. No, that's not right.  
_ Kakashi sighed, fiddling with one of the red laces on his vest, "I'm fine…"

"No, you're not," Genma regarded him seriously, "Now, I don't pretend to know what's wrong, but something _obviously_ is," He sighed softly, "Do you want me to leave?"

His eyes revealed his pain at his own question, and suddenly Kakashi couldn't bear the thought of this man _not_ being here. But there was no way he could tell him the truth either and for once, not a single convenient lie came to mind. So he just shook his head, biting his lip nervously. Genma just sighed again, relaxing his position a little.

They sat together like this for what seemed like eternity. Kakashi's mind constantly being torn between telling Genma everything and keeping still. Between getting up and staying put. Between pushing Genma away from him and pulling him closer.

But the choice was suddenly taken out of his hands as Genma moved. Getting up, he leaned against the table, his leg touching Kakashi's knee just barely. He sighed again, not looking at the copy nin but instead resting his gaze on the wall across from him. "You're worrying me… I can tell that something's upsetting you, and I'm pretty sure that 'something' is me, but you don't want me to leave while at the same time you're apparently ignoring me…" Teeth clattered against metal as he bit down on the senbon in his mouth, "I can't deal with this, Kakashi. Either give me something, or let me go…"

A small sound escaped his throat, a whimper. Staring up at the older man, he felt panic bubble up inside him. But Genma was looking at him now, his head cocked to the side, a soft smile on his face, amusement in his eyes.

"Okay… That sounded way too cute, but it's not what I meant, Kakashi…"

The smile widened into a smirk and Kakashi opened his mouth to speak. But the only thing that came out was another whimper. Embarrassed, he threw both hands over his mouth, mortified. But Genma just chuckled. So he tried again, his hands still covering his mouth, his tone incredibly soft and slow.

"Stop calling me cute."

Genma chuckled again, "But you _are_."

He pulled a face, pushing himself up. Standing right before Genma, he moved forward just a little, straddling the other man's legs.


	4. First to See

_**~First to See~** _

As Kakashi suddenly got up, straddling his legs, getting _way_ too close to the senbon still dangling between his lips, Genma swallowed. Quickly moving his head back a little, he took the senbon out of his mouth, twirling the metal around the fingers of his right hand a little nervously. Kakashi stared at him intently, his gaze never leaving Genma's eyes. He swallowed again, feeling very awkward all of the sudden. The copy nin breathed his name, their lips all but touching. His heart was pounding in his throat, hands twitching at his sides. He wanted nothing more than to rip that mask away, crash his lips to Kakashi's, but something about the younger man's attitude stopped him. He swallowed hard.

"Genma," Still a mere breath, but he understood, "Close your eyes, Genma."

Swallowing again, he complied. Secretly expecting to feel those soft lips on his own again. But no such thing happened. Actually… _Nothing_ happened. He just stood there, feeling like a fool as Kakashi's breath tickled his skin, the younger man's body heat causing beads of sweat to trickle down his back. This was a test. It had to be a test. What else could it possibly be? Kakashi was testing to see if he would listen to him, if he would do as promised and not hurt him again. Hours seemed to pass and it got increasingly difficult to keep his eyes closed whilst having absolutely no idea what the other man was thinking. He tried to swallow around the lump in his throat one more time, but it didn't seem to work anymore. Genma could feel his patience slowly slipping away, insecurity taking its place once more.

"Kakashi –"

"Hush."

A finger was gently placed against his lips and without conscious thought, he placed a small kiss on it. Kakashi chuckled and the finger was pulled away again, only to be replaced with the copy nin's lips, still covered by the soft mask. Genma could feel his hands twitching once more and he decided he'd waited long enough. Placing the senbon on the table behind him, he gently placed both of his hands on the small of the younger man's back. Kakashi jolted, but then leaned against him, pushing Genma back just enough to force him to sit down on the edge of the table. Arms came around him, pressing their bodies even tighter together. A soft moan escaped him and suddenly Kakashi pulled back again. Cursing himself for breaking the silence, Genma bit his lip, but his eyes remained closed. If this was a test, then he damn well better see it through to the end. He hadn't been longing for this man for all these years to falter _now_ of all times.

"Genma…" His voice sounded so insecure, so… _Scared_ , "Open your eyes please."

All of the sudden he didn't want to anymore. Whatever it was that Kakashi wanted him to see would not be worth scaring the man even more. He bit his lip, his tongue searching for the senbon that wasn't there.

"Genma, please," He sounded a little more sure now, but still his voice trembled.

He squeezed his eyes closed even tighter, his voice cracking, "Why?"

"Because there is something you need to understand."

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes, but he didn't look at Kakashi, his eyes instead searching for the little piece of metal that he knew would comfort him, calm him down. But it wasn't on the table, Genma frowned.

"Are you looking for this?" A smile in his voice, a touch of teasing, but still he sounded afraid.

Genma worried the inside of his lip, his gaze resting on the wooden table, "Probably…"

Kakashi chuckled, but didn't say anything, instead moving a little closer. His senbon came into view, held securely in the middle by pale fingers. He stretched out his hand, but Kakashi pulled away. Genma sighed, "That's a mean trick, you know that?"

"Maybe… But it seems like I don't have much of a choice."

"Kakashi…" He sighed again, "You sound like you're scared of something. And I don't want to _ever_ hurt you or scare you again, can you blame me if I don't want to look up right now?"

"Yes, I _asked_ you to," It sounded like he was pouting and Genma couldn't suppress the soft smile at how _cute_ Kakashi sounded, "But the only reason I'm scared right now is because the mask isn't on my face and that would make you the first person to see it since I was five years old. Still, I _want_ you to look up, I _want_ you to see."

Kakashi'd spoken quickly, the words almost lost on the older man due to the fast pace. That's why it took a few seconds for them to sink in. When they did, Genma blinked.

"Kakashi," His mouth suddenly felt way too dry, he blamed his hoarse tone on that for the time being, "Please tell me why…"

He heard the other sigh, and the senbon came back into view, loosely dangling betwixt pale fingers. He accepted it, placing it back between his lips with a small sigh.

"Because I'm in love with you, Genma. Because I've _been_ in love with you for years. Because I know that unless I show you _now,_ I'll never dare try again."

Genma swallowed once more, before finally looking up. The senbon clattered on ceramic tiles as his jaw dropped, hands gripping the wood behind him tight lest he might fall.

Kakashi wore a bright blush, taking a small step back, his entire body seemingly retreating, " _What?!_ "

Genma tried to swallow again, lifting one hand he pointed, breathing the only word that came to his dazed mind, "Perfection…"

Nervously, Kakashi snorted. Turning his head away, his finger anxiously tugged at the mask folded around his neck. But then he dropped his hand again, turning back he gave Genma a small, self-conscious smile. Walking over, the smile widened a little. He bent over, picking up the senbon and tossing it away, his smile widening even further as a small ' _clink_ ' indicated that the metal had landed in the sink as intended. Turning back again, a slow grin spread across his face. Genma bit his lip, hands all but crushing the wooden table, but he couldn't keep the word back.

"Cute…"

Immediately, the copy nin's mouth closed again; a hand covered his lips once more.

"I told you to stop calling me that…" He all but whined, his hand still hiding away the most adorable sight Genma had ever laid eyes upon.

A light chuckle escaped him, Pushing off the table, he quickly closed the distance between them, bodies as close as they could be without actually touching once more. He gently pried Kakashi's hand away, softly brushed his lips against the ones he'd been dreaming of for too many years.


	5. First Love

_**~First love~** _

He must be going crazy, must be losing his mind – why else would he have shown him? Why else would he have taken off the mask that had kept him safe, kept him hidden for most of his life?  
But Genma hadn't reacted the way he _thought_ the man would. The way he had expected. Perfection. No, it was not. But perhaps he could handle wearing Genma's idea of perfection as his face. He could not, however, handle hearing the word 'cute' ever again. It had caused him to retreat once more, permanently this time. If Genma insisted on calling him cute, he would have to insist on living out his days alone after all.

But the man simply chuckled. And, after closing the distance between them once more, had replaced his trembling fingers with soft lips. His arms caught between their bodies, Kakashi allowed his hands to hold on to the dark-blue fabric of the older man's shirt, sure he would sway on his legs otherwise. Strong arms came around him again, hands gently placed on the small of his back once more. He trembled.

Genma made no attempt to coax his lips apart, instead placing soft kisses. Lingering some times, retreating other times. It was becoming impossible to think. Taking the last and final decision his dazed mind presented him with, he gingerly opened his lips just a little. His tongue slipping out ever so slightly. Genma's lips parted, though he still made no attempt to take the initiative away from him. It almost frustrated him, but he soon realized he'd rather go his own pace. There was no question that the older man had infinitely more experience and Kakashi intended to go about this very slowly, lest he might lose himself in the process, melting away under Genma's touch. It seemed a real possibility. Forcing himself to push his tongue out but a little further he nearly lost his balance as he found himself greeted by something that could only possibly be Genma's tongue. The arms around him steadied him and his hold on once wrinkle-free fabric tightened. The older man was gentle and suddenly Kakashi knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Genma now understood his earlier trepidation. But he pushed such thoughts aside, focusing solely on how Genma's tongue brushed against his own, trying to ignore every other part of his body. Even if that proved nigh impossible, Kakashi was determined and refocused his attention on the kiss. The _kiss_ … Unbelievable, he was _kissing_ this man. For real. No quick peck on his mask, not even soft kisses placed upon it. A _real_ kiss, skin on skin, tongue against tongue.

As Genma shifted a little, he gasped, other body parts suddenly impossible to ignore as they screamed for his attention. Genma leaned back a little, chuckling softly. He frowned, was Genma making fun of him again? Had his inexperience proved comical? Was he nothing but a play-thing, a distraction after all?

"Kakashi," A warm smile replaced the unsettling chuckles, "If I'm the first person who's seen your face since you were six years old… Am I also your first kiss?"

Embarrassed, he let his gaze drop to his hands, head bowing down just a little. His voice not even a whisper, "Yes…"

A small chuckle sounded from the brunette once more, "Don't be embarrassed about it."

He swallowed, sneaking a glance up. Genma's smile was warm; His arms still hugging him tight. He looked down again, not yet ready to deal with anything as he wrestled to get his body back under control. He kept trembling and there was a throbbing sensation between his legs that he simply could not ignore. He sighed softly, resigning himself to his fate. Looking back up, he felt a soft kiss placed on his forehead. Genma's tone soft as he reassured him.

"It's really nothing to get embarrassed about, Kakashi. Although I'm glad I finally understand now…"

He only nodded, swallowing again. His gaze searching Genma's face for a few seconds before settling on the lips he so desperately wanted to kiss once more. Genma smiled again, seemingly able to read his mind as he brought his lips to Kakashi's, running his lip across the copy nin's lower lip almost instantly. This time, Kakashi didn't shy away, instead parting his lips and allowing the older man access. Only startling again as he realized something; Pulling back, Kakashi wore a shocked expression on his face as he stared at Genma. Lips tightly shut, slightly sucked in as his teeth bit down on the soft flesh, locking them, making sure that nothing, _no-one_ would ever dare part those lips again.

Genma only smiled again, waiting for Kakashi to relax, it seemed. But he couldn't. He pulled away, moving to lean back against the counter for the umpteenth time since Genma had arrived. Somehow this position seemed to comfort him a little. He understood why; the kitchen had always been his favorite room in the apartment, closely followed by the living room. The dining room held no appeal, the bedroom even less – it felt too big for him, and the large bed he'd bought to fill the empty space only seemed to increase that notion. He sighed softly. Tapped his fingers on the counter. Crossed his legs at the ankles. Uncrossed them. Crossed them again, the other way around. Uncrossed them. Tapped his fingers on the counter once more. Couldn't take it. Kakashi pulled the mask back up.

Genma chuckled, "I honestly don't see the problem, Kakashi."

"Cause there's a mask over it," Some of his aplomb seemed to have returned with the mask, he was grateful for it.

Genma chuckled again, "Rip that down, grin wide and I _still_ wouldn't see it."

"My mirror seems to disagree with you…"

"Buy another," An easy smile drifted his way.

He smiled back, eye crinkling in the process, "Tried that, five times already, didn't work."

Out of nowhere, Genma appeared before him, so close that if Kakashi would be able to manage a deep breath, their chests would touch.

"Then use me as your mirror, I'd tell you just how amazing you look every day."

He swallowed, biting his lip, "You keep using words that have absolutely nothing to do with me…"

"Yes, they do. You look amazing, Kakashi. Perfect in each and every way. _Adorable_."

He quirked on eyebrow, curious despite himself, "What happened to 'cute'?"

Genma chuckled, "I think that word might get me killed someday."

He wiggled his head a little, "Possibly…"

Genma smiled again, cupping his face with both hands, he gently forced Kakashi to look at him, his tone suddenly serious, "I love you, Kakashi Hatake. I've loved you since before I can even seem to remember."

He swallowed, a tear forming in the eye that he had never been able to call his own – Obito had always been _such_ a crybaby. His hands seemed to return to Genma's chest out of their own free will, softly wandering across.

"Genma, don't you dare ever leave me."

One more chuckle sounded through the room before gentle hands pulled the mask down, Genma's lips almost on his own as the older man whispered.

"I'd never even dare dream about it."


	6. Epilogue

_**~Epilogue~** _

Genma easily weaved through the crowd, the festival was bustling all around him but he only had eyes for one person and one alone. A little fluff of silver hair indicated the location of that person and Genma quickly made his way over. Intending to place a chaste kiss on covered lips, he walked around a little, approaching from the front so as not to startle the younger man. He suppressed a small sigh as he noticed his boyfriend's stance. Bend slightly at the waist, his eye crinkled in amusement, he spoke to three different colored heads, one raven, one pink, one blonde. Another sigh escaped him. _Those_ three again. Kakashi had taken charge of them just a couple weeks ago, assuring him that they would be sent back to the academy within days and after that, he could refocus his attention on his lover once more. But apparently, that wasn't meant to be. These three had beaten the test that no gennin had ever even realized _existed_. Genma pulled a face. There would be no kissing his boyfriend now – chaste or otherwise. Kakashi had made _that_ much perfectly clear. Straightening his back, the copy nin apparently caught sight of him, he waved. Genma waved back, turning on his heels to disappear back into the crowd. But he was immediately stopped by a familiar hand on his shoulder.

"Stay, Genma," He smiled at him, even now, after all this time, he felt his knees buckle at the sight of it.

But he vaguely gestured at the three annoying gennin, "You have other things to do, apparently…"

Kakashi frowned at him, "No I don't."

He raised one eyebrow, nodding to the three kids gawking at their sensei.

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about, my Love," There was a chuckle in Kakashi's voice and as he leaned in a little, Genma's eyes widened, but he kissed him back all the same.

The copy ninja hummed into their kiss, a sure sign that the man was thoroughly amused, Genma bit back a chuckle. The surprised gasps from the bothersome gennin music to his ears. Relinquishing his lover's lips, he left his hands on Kakashi's hips, feeling one of the younger man's hands still on his shoulder, the other bunching up Genma's shirt . He'd given up on ironing his shirts shortly after they'd gotten together – Kakashi always managed to wrinkle them within minutes anyway.  
Chuckling, he looked over at the three. The boy with black hair, the _Uchiha,_ frowned lightly, his hands pushed deep inside his pockets. The blonde boy on the other side of the girl was grinning wide as he gave Genma a thumbs up. Genma disregarded both, they were clearly idiots. But the girl… Standing in between the two boys, her pink hair so bright it almost gave the man a headache. Her folded hands were pushed against her lips, a bright blush on her face as she smiled warmly, head bowed down just a little. He decided he might like this one – a _little._ So he kept his soft gaze on her green eyes, addressing _her_ and her alone – even if the boys probably didn't notice.

"Seems like you're going to have to share your sensei a little, just like I have to share my boyfriend with the three of you. But right now, there's no training and no upcoming mission. So I'm taking him to dinner and you're _not_ invited," He winked, chuckling again as the girl blushed bright while nodding eagerly.

He grabbed Kakashi's hand, gently pulling him along. They quickly left the festival grounds, heading back into the now almost deserted village.

"So… Dinner? Everything's closed now, Love," He chuckled.

Genma smiled at him, "I know a place where the kitchen's still open."

He led Kakashi by the hand, taking him to the apartment that had once belonged to the copy ninja, but now was home to both of them. It was impossible to resist kissing him through the mask every couple of steps. His boyfriend complained softly, saying that he was hungry and that they were _never_ going to get home at this pace, but he kept kissing him back, so Genma only chuckled.

Starting up the creaking stairs, he felt his back being pushed against the wall, the dim light apparently cover enough for the mask to be pulled away from perfectly kissable lips. Lips that were quickly pressed against his own, hungrily assaulting him. A small sound escaped the copy nin and Genma smiled into the kiss. Even though he no longer said it out loud, there was but one word playing trough his mind at times like this, when Kakashi's soft whimpers caressed his ears, _cute._ But as a sudden light shone from above – one of the neighbors opening their door, intending to walk down the stairs currently occupied by their bodies – Kakashi retreated, pulling up the mask once more. They turned toward the source of the light, quickly walking up the stairs that were too narrow for the other to pass them. They entered the apartment without further interruptions, their reputation in this building already being one of shameless fraternization, something Kakashi seemed to find amusing but Genma could not appreciate.

Dinner consisted of reheated leftovers, as neither man wanted to waste precious time on something as time-consuming and bothersome as cooking right now, both eager to focus their attention wholly on each other. As he was led to the bedroom, Kakashi grinned wide, _cute_. Genma returned the grin with equal vigor, his heart pounding in his chest at the mere sight of the man that he had loved forever and would continue to love forever.

XXIIIXX

Laying on his side, he studied the man calmly sleeping beside him. It was still early and the alarm wouldn't go off for another hour or so, but something had woken Genma up – Kakashi's nightmare. He'd tried to wake him up, but that had proven unsuccessful. Still, his attentions had calmed the man down and Kakashi was once again breathing evenly.  
Genma smiled fondly, brushing a few strands of silver hair away from the serene face. He'd always loved this man, but ever since that awkward conversation on a grassy hill just outside of town he'd grown to love him even more. Every day, he loved Kakashi more.

People often seemed to feel the need to ask him why, which was a stupid question as far as Genma was concerned, one he didn't even bother trying to answer anymore. He just smiled. He smiled about a lot of things nowadays, his perpetual loneliness lifted by the mere thought of the silver-haired man. Beside him, Kakashi stirred, opening one eye as he looked up at Genma.

"Morning, Love…" He said groggily, before moving to sit up.

Genma followed his example, "Morning, Dearest."

He kissed soft, uncovered lips, smiling as his lover's lips parted to invite him in. The kiss deepened and Kakashi straddled him. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Kakashi grinned at him, softly stroking the older man's chest. Genma smiled back at him, his own eyes crinkling in amusement.

Over the years, Genma had found that many people questioned him about his lover´s face. But every time they did, he merely smiled softly, waiting for the curiosity to die down again in the face of so much patience.

They didn't need to know, Kakashi´s little tooth gap was their own, private little secret.


End file.
